You Aren't From Another Universe
by Please Don't Hold Back
Summary: Deadpool meets another him from an alternative universe. Or is it a case of mistaken identity? Very light Spideypool.
Disclaimer: Standard disclaimer rights apply.

Notes: So, in the comics, when Deadpool meets his alternative universe counterparts they're known by the adjective that describes them and the suffix -pool (Pandapool, Dogpool, Ladypool, Kidpool, you get the idea). I've been looking for an excuse to call 'Spider-Man' 'Spideypool' ever sense. Welcome, ladies and gentlemen, to my excuse:

 **You Aren't from Another Universe**

Deadpool was, admittedly, already in a bad mood. His last assignment didn't go exactly according to plan. And, in this case, 'not according to plan' meant 'up in some fucking flames'. His mark, who he had been avidly instructed not to kill, had been killed. Which meant no bueno on the el moola. And nothing upset him more than doing work he wasn't paid for. Especially when it wasn't even his fault.

Who the hell hired a mercenary to _not_ kill a person, anyway? Protecting people wasn't really in his wheelhouse, as he had proven time and time again.

It was during one of his many self depreciating inner monologues when he saw him: another Deadpool. Now, that just made him elated, because no one understood him like himself, and he could use a little understanding after he had just blown half a million dollars. So, he took off after him, surprised to learn after a few blocks that this particularly Deadpool seemed to have been part spider. That was really the only logical reason for the webs shooting out of his hands, after all.

He slowly gained during the next several blocks, pouncing on The Other Deadpool's back as soon as he was mid swing between buildings.

"Spideypool!" he announced by way of greeting.

He was immobilized onto the sidewalk below him before he could blink. "Oh, I think I broke my back," he whined. "Gotta give me a couple seconds here," he grunted out, finally looking his alternative self in the face. They stared at each other for a beat before something occurred to Deadpool. "For another Deadpool you really don't look like me."

Spideypool blinked at him from where he was hanging off the building above him. "Another what?"

"Another Deadpool. You know, from another dimension … alternative universe … you know, whatever you wanna call it," Deadpool explained, waving a hand in the air because he could move that part of his body.

"Nevermind, I don't wanna know." Spideypool quickly shook his head before softly landing right beside Deadpool. "Are you okay? You hit the ground pretty hard. Can you move?"

Deadpool tried to move his leg and received only a sharp pain across his spine for his efforts. "Gimme a minute," he grunted.

"I swear I didn't mean to drop you. I'm so sorry! I can call you an ambulance," Spideypool suggested, his eyes wide.

"Ha! I don't need an ambulance, Spideypool. Do you not have a healing factor in your universe?" Deadpool asked. He was feeling pretty healed at this point, but was content to lay on the ground for a while longer just in case. A broken back hurt like a bitch.

"Er, no, I don't have a healing factor," Spideypool said slowly, eyeing Deadpool up and down. "Are you _sure_ you're okay? Because you don't seem okay."

"Healing factor, Spideypool," Deadpool reminded his other self. "Be fine in a sec."

"Can you stop it with that 'Spideypool' business? The name's Spider-Man," Spider-Man told him, worried look still on his face.

"I've never met a me that doesn't call himself me," Deadpool said. He finally ventured to sit up, happy to discover that his back gave no hint of protest.

Spider-Man crossed his arms as he looked down at him. "I'm not you. I'm me. Spider-Man. I fight crime? Saved the city from the Green Goblin? From Doc Ock? Sandman? Venom?" He threw his head back. "Have you _seriously_ never heard of me?"

"I've only ventured outta this universe a few times," Deadpool told him. He put a hand up to his chin, content to keep sitting on the concrete. "Though a me with a different name opens up a lot of possibilities for me. Maybe, in the DC universe, Deathstroke is actually me, and that's why no one ever sued. It'd make sense. We've got the same background: started out in the army, got wrapped up in insane experiments, make our money from mercenary work. We've even got the same last name. Really, I'm surprised I'd never made the connection before. Of course-"

"I have no idea what you're talking about," Spider-Man interrupted. "But I'm starting to think you hit your head really hard."

Deadpool shrugged at him. "I guess if you were another personality of me from another universe you wouldn't've heard of him, since he's another me from a completely _different_ universe. What universe did you originate in, anyway? You don't seem like a DC kinda guy."

"Like, Washington, DC? Uh, no. I'm a New York guy. I guess," Spider-Man replied slowly, brows furrowed. "I don't see what that has to do with anything."

"You slow or something, Spidey?"

"Asks the guy rambling about alternate dimensions," Spider-Man snapped.

Deadpool was content to ignore him. Though, the fact that himself didn't even understand himself? That was definitely different. Spideypool's universe must have been completely different. Maybe his universe didn't have any other superheroes, which would explain why he had never had the opportunity to travel interdimensionally before, the poor him. "You strike me as a Sony type of guy, amirite?"

"I really have absolutely no idea what you're talking about," Spider-Man insisted. "But it looks like you're feeling fine now, so I'm going to take off. Mostly because this entire conversation is giving me a headache."

"Ha! Kind of a symptom of being us, isn't it?" Deadpool asked with a laugh. "I'm surprised you aren't used to it. But, I guess, since you don't have a healing factor maybe your pain threshold is underdeveloped. I assume breaking my back would have hurt a lot more before Weapon X." Deadpool tilted his head at Spider-Man as a thought occurred to him. "Hey, Spideypool, since you don't have a healing factor, does that means you never went through Weapon X? Does that mean you never got cancer?" That'd be interesting. He had never met a him that hadn't suffered from cancer before. He wondered if he would let himself see under his mask. It'd be nice to see what his face would've looked like had he not become gross and deformed.

Spider-Man massaged his temporal lobe. He wouldn't be surprised if his IQ was knocked down a few points just from this conversation alone. "Look, I already told you: I have no idea what you're talking about!" He flung his arms out. "I've never had cancer. And I have no idea what Weapon X is. And you need to stop calling me 'Spideypool'. That's not my name! What you're saying makes no sense, and you're wasting my time with this meaningless conversation!"

"Life is meaningless, Spideypool," Deadpool pointed out. "I thought all the mes were pretty much in agreement on that one."

Spider-Man took a deep breath before putting his hands on his hips and replying. "Right, yeah, I've heard that one before. Life's meaningless. It might be true, for all I know, but that's not going to change anything. I'm going to do as much good as I can before I go. And if I can make one person's life better as a result then it'll be worth it."

"Huh? What are you talking about? We're meaningless because we just exist in someone else's imagination." Deadpool waved his arms around him. "None of this is real," he explained before tilting his head to the side. "What's your thing?"

Spider-Man couldn't stop himself from groaning. "You are taking years of my life just by talking."

"Things must be a lot different where you're from," Deadpool replied, undeterred by Spider-Man's obvious annoyance. "I've never met a me that's so uptight. Do you know your dimension number, by chance? I'd love to come for a visit. It sounds totes fun."

"I'm not from another dimension! What about that aren't you understanding?" Spider-Man yelled, clenching his fists together.

"You're saying you aren't from another universe," Deadpool finally realized. "Huh." He said before looking Spider-Man up and down. "Well, if you're from this dimension you can't be me, since I'm the me of this dimension. And that means you're kind of stealing my costume idea. Though, I've gotta say, you're definitely pulling it off," he complimented with a smile.

Spider-Man tensed as he felt Deadpool eyeing him up and down. He hunched his shoulders. "Don't look at me like that."

Deadpool's smile just grew. "Usually I don't go for the shy types, but I can make an exception for you."

Spider-Man crossed his arms again, hoping that his glare was deep enough to be seen through his mask. "I'm not interested. And this is the most inane conversation I've ever been part of."

Deadpool shrugged at him. "What else would you expect from a bad plot design?"

END


End file.
